Okay, I’ll say a little more. Having eaten several of these, I’m amazed at how consistently awesome they are. It’s kind of like with a McDonald’s hamburger: you know exactly what you’re going to get. Except instead of feeling shame, you get the urge to start writing love letters.

Now that it’s in the eighties most days in Austin, it’s becoming hard to recall how cold it was in New York at this time. But what I can clearly recall is that this was one of the most satisfying meals we’ve had in some time.

Country style pâté.

Rabbit rillette.

Sausage with lentils. I wish I remember exactly which sausage this was.

Eliza had the burger, which (in another example of my experience with fancy burgers) didn’t actually knock our socks off. But, the fries… Oh, the fries.

It has occurred to me that I write about New York restaurants more than anything else on this blog. “Then why not move to New York?” you ask. Well, friends, burgers cost $26 in New York and that’s ridiculous.

You see, I love burgers. I eat them a lot. And if I moved to New York, there would be no money left for the rent. That’s why I’ve chosen not to live there. (Not just because of the burgers, but you get my point.) Still, when visiting New York, you go for it. You order the $15 cocktail for crying out loud. And next to the $15 cocktail, what’s $26 for a burger? You can’t live on cocktails, as far as I can tell.

Anyway, the more significant cost of eating at Minetta Tavern is elbowing your way to the bar. I recently found my way to a seat with my friends Rob and Peri. Here was the view from our perch amid the mêlée.

Here, I catch Peri making a classic Peri face.

We started off with a truckload of bone marrow.

And look at this magnificent burger.

I’d been looking forward to this burger for quite a while. Jeff can’t stop yammering about it, so I figured there must be something to it. And was it good? Yes, it was great. Was it worth the stress of warring for a seat at the bar? Absolutely.

But was it one of the best burgers I’ve ever had? Not quite. Here’s the deal, folks: I like cheap burgers. I’ve tried plenty of the fancy ones, and apart from this one, I always seem to prefer the little guys. I’m not opposed to the idea of a $26 burger. It’s just that if given the choice, I’d probably for go for a double from P Terry’s, Dan’s, or Billy’s over anything from a proper restaurant.

So, having experienced the $26 burger, I’m feeling even better about heading back to Austin and eating a week’s worth of burgers for the price of just that one.

While walking past Hopdoddy’s entrance a few weeks ago, I actually overheard someone say “This place is Austin’s first burger bar.” Maybe I missed something, but isn’t pretty much any bar that serves food a “burger bar”?

Not that I’m going to judge the place on marketing or aesthetics. What I care about is the food. But before we get to that, it is worth pointing out that the ordering process is a little strange here. Without getting into details, I’ll say that it worked surprisingly well given the large crowd they had.

OK, I really don’t want to digress about their marketing, but come on: t-shirts with puns? I’m starting to feel like I’m in Applebee’s.

So what about the burgers? They’re great. Even better, the basic burger comes at the more than reasonable price of $5, a buck extra for cheese. And like Burger Tex, they even bake their own buns. Look at that beauty.

I find that some of these high-end burger places have buns that are a little too airy and fluffy, but as you can see, Hopdoddy’s buns compress nicely in your hand. They also make milkshakes with homemade ice cream, obviously a can’t-lose proposition.

The people behind Hopdoddy have clearly put a lot of thought into the place. And no matter what you call it, I’ll be going back for more.

I went with the patty melt. It was a good choice.

New Yorkers didn’t quite know what to make of it. Was it a bar with good food? A restaurant that was fun? In any case, it was an immediate hit, a seat at one of its cramped tables so coveted that Frank Bruni, in a mostly admiring review in the Times, deemed the place a “gastromelee.” Message boards abounded with proudly masochistic anecdotes about what one blogger called the “hipster bloodsport” of trying to get in.

Eliza and I have been debating Austin burgers for a while, with neither of us landing on a single favorite. I’ve heard more than one friend call Burger Tex their favorite, so we figured it was high time to check ‘em out. A quest for the best makes a great excuse to eat burgers, after all, so consider this the beginning of a long journey. We’re in search of the truth.

Burger Tex’s claim to fame is their fresh buns, which they bake on site every day. Hence, “the freshest hamburgers in town.”

They also have a self-serve fixins bar, where I naturally overdosed on mayo. Sweet, delicious mayo.

It’s just a bad idea to put me within arm’s reach of this much mayonaise. I’m sure to overdo it. And I did. It all just reaffirms my conviction that when eating out, I’m not a fan of DIY. That’s why I can’t stand Mongolian BBQ. Cooking (or in this case, condiment squirting) is best left to the pros.

The onion rings were excellent.

Eliza had hers with fried okra.

It’s a fine burger, without a doubt. But if you go, take it easy on the mayo. And Texas: take it easy on the puns.

One of the problems with hanging out in New York is that you’re always surrounded by people who are far cooler than you are.

A nice touch: you check off your order with a marker on these laminated menus.

They pack the tables pretty tightly in there. Eliza couldn’t get my face in this shot because the camera would have actually gone up my right nostril.

We went with the sliders so we could try as many different types as possible. For each one, you choose both the meat and the sauce.

A surprising winner was also the salad you see here, a little greenery to go along with all that meat.

I always get the 78704. I’m not normally one for hamburgers that involve any kind of toppings outside the basics (believe it or not, I don’t even like bacon on burgers), but the 78704 is a topping-laden burger that I love: Jack cheese, jalapenos, grilled onions, sliced avocado and chipotle mayo on a toasted jalapeno cheese bun.

On this particular trip, Eliza went with a corn dog.

Having an Amy’s Ice Cream next door is a bonus. I think I ate both of these. Eliza might have had a bite or two.

When you sit on the porch at Billy’s, you don’t have your own conversation. You inevitably get drawn into a common conversation with everyone else out there (likely including Billy himself). The whole place–inside and out–just exudes friendliness.

I went with the Billy Burger. Solid.

Eliza had the veggie burger. An uncharacteristic choice, but she liked it.

When there are fried pies on the menu, we have a hard time saying no. So we didn’t.